Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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