I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
