I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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