How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
