waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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