I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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