it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We are all done wearing pants today
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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