She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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