You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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