so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
