never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
