Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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