I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she pinky promised me she was 18
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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