so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Pants are for mortals
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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