do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
