I molested 6 butterflies tonight
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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