He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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