Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
