I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
