so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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