I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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