the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Randomize
