I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
