Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
