Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
