Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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