Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
All the doctor said was why
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
