So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Redeem this text for a blowjob
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
