Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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