thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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