Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
