the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
