white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
are you so shy because you have an std?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
