we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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