i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
