i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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