Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
