I am in a vortex of obligation.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
