Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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