i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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