Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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