Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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