I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My bed smells like the plague
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
