Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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