Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
