if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You smell like stripper and shame
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
