Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
