he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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