I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize