any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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