This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
