I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
