Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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