we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
