btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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