420 ftw
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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