It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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