His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
