She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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