Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
