Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
