Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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