Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He did a backflip because drugs
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
