why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
organizing the empties. That sober.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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