If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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