do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize