Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
