Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
