he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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