took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
