i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize