if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My pussy is not your playground.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
