we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize