I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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