so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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