i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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