when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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