She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
