I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
